Behind The Music: Mary J. Blige
Written on July 21, 2011 by Dylan Ferguson
“I don’t remember wanting to be a star, I just remember the music feeling so good. It always felt like it was going through me, and I could feel it in my stomach.” – Mary J. Blige, on growing up singing
“By the time we moved to Yonkers, to Schlobohm [Projects], it was just, you know, every man for themselves. It was like survive or die. All the women around were being beaten by men, their self esteem was low; these are the women you’re watching every single day. I’ve seen women destroyed, I’ve head their screams thru the walls as a child from being abused by men. And so that really made everything worse. By the time I was a teenager I was crazy.” – Mary J. Blige, on her adolescent years, after her mother moved her and her sister to the Schlobohm Project
“When I was 5 years old I was molested and just, you know. I remember feeling, literally right before it happened, I just could not believe that this person was going to do this to me.…That thing followed me all my life. The shame of thinking my molestation was my fault. It led me to believe I wasn’t worth anything.” – Mary J. Blige, on being molested as a child
“I remember when Mary came in, everything was so glamorous in RB. I was looking at Mary like, trying to make her glamorous would be the wrong move. She was raw, she represented the streets, so I wanted her image to reflect that. That’s why we went to the combat boots. I wanted her to represent a girl from the hood.” – P. Diddy, on working with Mary while he was an intern at Uptown Records
“I love Puffy. If it wasn’t for him I probably wouldn’t have made it this far in my career, because he pushed me, challenged me to challenge myself. And I love that.” – Mary J. Blige, on her friendship with P. Diddy
“The problem had snowballed into this thing that was bigger than me. It was bigger than me. And it was definitely going to kill me. So I was like this is it and let’s go. And I remember sitting on my bed. I swear, I don’t know what death feels like, but I felt like my spirit was trying to leave my body. And I was crying, and I was going please God, no no, not now, I don’t want this. I prayed, like I remember saying a prayer I said God, send me someone to help me.” – Mary J. Blige, on hitting rock bottom
“And for some reason, I needed that. Because he asked me, you know, why are you drinking? Ding! Answer, you hate yourself. So it was the questions that made me say eureka. Why you drinking? I hate me. Why do you hate you? You’re supposed to love you? That day was the beginning of our friendship, and him talking to me and helping me. I have a life right now. I have a life because of that phone call.” – Mary J. Blige, on receiving a call from her now-husband Kendu Isaacs, during her lowest point
“And she’s like “Well I don’t wanna be hurt no more.” I was like, what we’re gonna talk about and deal with is gonna begin the healing process. It’s almost like if you, had this wound on your hand, and it was healing incorrectly, and now you have a scab on top of it, but inside it’s all infected. The hurt is gonna come from the removing of the scab so that we can treat it properly.” – Kendu Isaacs, on helping Mary overcome her demons
“The best thing that you can do to me [is] to challenge me to challenge myself. When I stopped drinking, it was will power. It was prayer. It was really hard. But I cared so much about [Kendu], I didn’t wanna just be this alcoholic burden on him. He doesn’t deserve for me to just be some you know, slum bucket alcoholic. And so, I took responsibility and I, cleaned up as much as I could. But it was hard.” – Mary J. Blige, on quitting drinking and crediting her husband, Kendu Isaacs for saving her life
“When I said no more drama, man did I mean that. I was tired of beating up on myself. I was tired of feeling like I wanted to die. I was tired and tired and tired. It was the beginning of something that was the hardest thing for me to do. And that’s to really get out of the comfort zone of being miserable.” – Mary J. Blige, on the turning point in her life and her 2001 album, “No More Drama”
“It was like everybody could grow up, no matter what hood they came in, and be great. Not only can Obama be great, but Mary J. Blige can be great and you can be great. That’s what I felt like when I was watching it on television. I felt the hope.” – Andre Harrell, Former President of Uptown Records, reflecting on Mary’s 2009 performance at the Presidential Inauguration
“Mary literally takes her experience in her life and puts it through every record. It’s so powerful to watch her growth as a person and have it be reflected on that album… Mary’s a powerhouse. I mean, they don’t just come along every day.” – Jimmy Iovine, on Mary’s talents as a recording artist
“This could have been a tragic story. Every single chapter… I am the living proof that any person going through any kind of tragic situation in their lives. Any molestation, any self-hatred, anything terrible, you can get out, you can make it.” – Mary J. Blige, on turning her life around
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